It’s tempting to say that it was after my daughter was born that my desire abandoned me. Tempting, because I felt abandoned by the natural vitality and freedom I’d felt in my body before, the pleasure I felt dancing and making love with my partner, the buoyant ease that I seemed to carry myself with-- even though when I looked in the mirror, most of the times I felt shame and could only see my flaws.

After I had Brie (which, no matter what, is still the best decision I’ve ever made), my midwife told me to wait at least six weeks before being sexual with my partner again. 

When I tried, at six weeks-- and six months— and two years-- I felt like a dead, broken thing. My body alternately felt pain or nothing at all, utterly incapable of pleasure and unresponsive to him in bed— but also numb and untouched by the sun on my skin, and the sensation of my own movement while dancing, or hiking, or attempting a yoga practice. I was twenty-five pounds over my pre-baby weight and every day dealt with brain fog, fatigue, and mood swings.

I felt a million miles away from how I’d felt when I was pregnant-- which is the sexiest I’d ever felt in my life. When I looked down at my curvy body, for the first time in my life, it felt totally right and like everything made sense. I felt juicy and graceful, sauntering down the street in the cute maternity clothes I’d bought to show off my belly, making time to go to prenatal yoga three days a week and a massage every other week. Best of all, I had been intensely, easily orgasmic-- especially for my partner, who would soon be my co-parent. 

But fast forward a couple years later, and if he touched me at all, even on my shoulder, I felt resentment for his “constant” need for attention. I hated everything about my thirty-eight year old body, which felt old, flabby, and numb. And even though the doctors told me everything was fine, it still hurt to have sex most of the time, and most of what I read online seemed to tell me, well, this is just what it’s like at this phase of life. What did you expect? 

Fortunately, everything we’re reading online is wrong.  Sex doesn’t need to die with marriage, birth, or getting older.

In fact, it can be better and deeper and more luscious.

I dove into studying the jade egg to restore my pelvic floor health and sensitivity, dug deeper into tantra and other ways of connecting to the energy of my own sexuality, and immersed myself in the VITA method of coaching for sex, love, and relationships, which allowed me to shift patterns of trauma, resentment, disembodiment, shame and self-worth that had been building up in my body from long before marriage and pregnancy.  I also revamped my personal apothecary to focus on energy boosting, heart opening, hormone balancing plant medicine.

And I found myself able to connect with to body and my partner in a deep and loving way that renewed our love and my own sense of pleasure and embodiment-- in fact, today, I’m able to experience more bliss, ecstasy, and divine awakening in my sexual experiences with myself and with my partner than ever.​ (Not to mention, I’ve also dropped twenty pounds, cured my brain fog and fatigue, and created massive upleveling and growth in my relationship, which rocks!)

Which is what I want for you, too.

Click here to schedule a “Harmonize Your Hormones + Reclaim Your Desire” Strategy Session.

The VITA Method + Herbal Magic = BADASS SEXUAL HEALING

My work is based on 5 essential principles:

1) Women's bodies are naturally designed for pleasure. no matter our experience has been up until now, we can always heal our capacity for pleasure, our orgasms, and our sexuality, because pleasure is our birthrite.

2) Reclaiming your sexuality is the missing link to everything else that you're doing to create the life you desire and the impact you desire to make in the world. it makes you a better mother, wife, partner, writer, executive, visionary, whatever it is that you are or want to be.

3) Masterful, mindblowing sex is the ultimate antidote to the existential loneliness" of our modern lives, because it is an act of intimate connection with self, partner, and the divine.

4) Reclaiming our sexuality is a deeply feminist act, an important part of the upwelling of feminine consciousness and empowerment that's happening around the world. It is a radical path towards a different way of living in a culture that tells us that we're not enough, that we need to buy more to be more, and that our value is based on what we can produce and do for others. We don't need patriarchical experts to fix us-- whether its a doctor or a guru-- or to buy expensive things, undergo plastic surgery, look a certain way, be twenty years younger -- in order to have deeply fulfilling, magical, powerful sexual experiences.

5) SEX MAGIC WORKS.

Sound good? Read on to go deeper with the VITA method:

The VITA™ Method is a transformational process to heal and awaken sexuality through the use of holistic tools… and has the power to unlock never-before-experienced levels of epic sex and legendary love .

For too long, there has been a split between the overly mental approach of "positive thinking" or only talking about problems, which can bypass the true roots of an issue... And the embodied teachings of Tantra and holistic sexuality, which contain powerful transformative tools, but don’t usually translate well into a successful and professional career on their own.

Taking the most effective teaching of modern neurobiology, holistic healing, and modern coaching, and blending them with the ancient & powerful teachings of Tantra, Taoism, and Sacred Sexuality, VITA™ stands for: the Vital and Integrated Tantric Approach.

Through the powerful combination of holistic tools like breathwork, pleasure practices, trauma healing, meditative practices, energy work, sounding, and movement, this method offers a completely unique approach to healing and awakening sexuality.  Backed by modern science and empowered by ancient wisdom, we’ll work with the primal brain and the deep subconscious, which allows you to actually resolve the issues that keep you from having the sex, relationships, and love that you desire and deserve.

It offers deep yet gentle healing to shift back into safety and love. Too many women have experienced trauma in their lives, which is why the methodology incorporates and integrates trauma principles that gently work with the living system in a slow, attentive, and loving way to bring overwhelmed or traumatized pieces into a space where they can be loved, held, and experienced from a centered space of safety.

VITA recognizes and supports that human beings thrive by regularly experiencing states of ecstasy, bliss, surrender, divine connection, and wild freedom. We recognize that the body has an energy system and we work with energy to systematically liberate and awaken the natural state of flow within us. 

Ready to experience it yourself? Sign up for a “Harmonize Your Hormones & Reclaim Your Desire” Strategy Session here.